Is this really happening??.....

Wow!! Baby J is a week old now and I feel like I am living someone elses life. The out-of-body feelings I have are unbelievable...I wake up each morning, roll over and realize that I am no longer pregnant and that my baby is in not at home with me. J.D. and I keep looking and each other saying "is this really happening??" I truly feel like I should be waking up from a bad dream. Granted, it could be alot worse, he is doing well, making improvements each day and I know that it is only a matter of time and he will be home with us. I just feel a little cheated on the last month of my pregnancy. I love being pregnant!! Sounds crazy I know, but I do. I feel like I have been robbed of precious time. It is hard to explain. There is an emptiness.
This was taken last night right before I fed him and put him to bed. Look at those eyes, aren't they amazing!! He was starving and going to town on the binky. I am a binky lover for sure, and right now it seems that he might be too. We try to spend as much time in the hospital with him as we can. They have him on a 3 hour schedule for eating, changing bums, taking temperature and checking him out. So every time we can be there to give him his care we are. It is making for late nights for our other kids, starting at 9:00p.m. and finishing by 10:00p.m. and then heading home....our kids are handling it well, Morgan and Brenna are amazing help. We couldn't do it without them holding the fort down.
I try to go up in the morning when I can and we always make the noon feeding together. The afternoons are hard because I do feel like I need to be home to take some care of the others. Ella is I think effected the most because she is shuffled around during the day. Not that she doesn't love playing with cousins and friends and being "babysat" - I can just tell that she is wiped out at the end of the day and a little grouchy. It has just been her and I for so long, so I am missing those moments too.....
I feel blessed that Jiles is doing so well, that J.D. has a job that allows him to spend so much time with me. He has been my rock. I could not ask for a better husband and father to my kids. I am so thankful to my sisters for all their help during this time - I will be sure to make it worth your while some how.
I am just anxious to get back to a normal (is that possible) life!!!....